Taking a Stand...To Forgive: Part 4 of 4 - The Motivation and Result of Forgiveness

     Today, we wrap up our 4-part blog series on forgiveness. If you're still faithfully working through the other posts with a particular person in mind to whom you need to extend forgiveness, don't rush the process. Take your time. Dig into Scripture. Pray. Allow God to guide you.

The Motivation of Forgiveness

     The motivation to forgive occurs when we fully acknowledge the vast sin debt that God has canceled in our own lives. Forgiveness understands God’s amazing grace and the trespasses that Christ forgave each of us. When we truly grasp the enormity of our canceled debt, it is unthinkable to withhold forgiveness from another. In releasing those who have hurt us from liability, we absorb that debt and lay it at the foot of the cross. We cannot expect repayment. True healing begins when that debt of hurt, anger, and loss is forgiven in its entirety.

     In the parable recorded in Matthew 18:21-35, God is represented as the king and we the servants. He completely forgave our mountain of debt and therefore sets the example for our behavior regarding forgiveness. What kinds of debt has God absorbed and canceled in your life?

     Colossians 2:13 says it like this:  When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins.

     He makes us alive through His forgiveness because it's motivated by His love. Even though it may be extremely difficult for us to forgive the person who has hurt us, our love for God and obedience to His calling serves as our chief navigation. Some hurts are deep. The thought of extending forgiveness may seem impossible right now. Keep praying and asking God to mold in you a tender and forgiving heart. At first, you may pray through gritted teeth, but persevere. God will not disappoint!

The Result of Forgiveness

     Unforgiveness keeps the pain alive, prevents deep wounds from healing, and imprisons us in the past. Assigning blame or re-living the wrong done to us only builds up escalating degrees of anger. Forgiveness sets us free from our past and allows us to joyfully live in the present. It permits us to open our hearts and hands to receive the hope and future that God has planned for us [Jer. 29:11].

Closing

     If you struggle with unforgiveness, pray for a changed heart—not for the offender, but for you. Forgiveness has everything to do with our actions, not theirs. Ask trusted, godly friends to pray for you. If need be, seek godly counseling to work through deep-seated anger and resentment. Then, through the power of the Holy Spirit, start walking towards that person that you need to forgive.

     God is right beside you.
     He will guide you and give you the words needed.
     Begin that walk of freedom today.

Taking a Stand...To Forgive: Part 3 of 4 - The Action of Forgiveness

     After taking a look at our call to forgive and the character of forgiveness, it's time for our next step in this process: ACTION. Believe me, that is the toughest part of the forgiving process and often the last thing we get around to. It's one thing to understand our call to forgive and wrap our mind around the character of forgiveness. It's an entirely different thing to get off of our pew and start moving toward it.

The Action of Forgiveness

     Forgiveness is a process, a series of events, and a set of behaviors. It requires action on our part. True biblical forgiveness is always initiated and moves first. In Luke 15, the parable of the prodigal son clearly demonstrates this truth through the actions of the father. In Luke 15:20, when the father catches sight of the prodigal son on the horizon, he begins to run toward him. He literally RUNS in the direction of forgiveness.

     The father did not wait for the son to grovel or apologize. He did not tap his foot while demanding to hear the son’s outlined plan (vv. 18-20) in order to be accepted once again. The father ran to extend forgiveness. Forgiveness has everything to do with our action, not the offender. We are not instructed to stand back and wait for them to approach us.

     We also learn from the story of the prodigal son that forgiveness may be misunderstood and unappreciated by others. When the father forgave and welcomed back the younger son with open arms, Luke 15:28-30 records the older son's response:

The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!

     Can you identify with the older brother's feelings? Extending forgiveness may provoke anger and hostility in others generated from their own struggles with unforgiveness. But worrying about how others will perceive our forgiveness only delays taking that first step. Keeping our eyes on God and following His guidance allows us to live a renewed, restored life.

     In Mark 11:25, God tell us this about active forgiveness: And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.

     Forgiving someone that has hurt us requires taking action to reach out to them. We find that initial step difficult because we may fear exposure to unkind words, rejection, and further hurt. But we are still called to extend forgiveness, regardless of how the recipient of our forgiveness responds. Whether or not they accept forgiveness resides with them. You and I are called to extend genuine forgiveness; not ensure those who hurt us accept it. That decision resides with them alone.

     Unforgiveness and hardened hearts prevent God’s healing to penetrate. When the wound is deep, we remember the hurt often. Initially, we may have to forgive 100 times a day - and sometimes through gritted teeth. But each time we remember, we are to forgive. Over time, God’s salve of love heals our hearts and repairs our brokenness and we find that we no longer pray for them through gritted teeth.

    Tomorrow, we'll wrap up our series on forgiveness. I pray that God has stirred in you a fresh insight into biblical forgiveness. The best is yet to come.

Taking a Stand...To Forgive: Part 2 of 4

     Yesterday, we looked at the call that God has issued to us to forgive as the Lord forgave us. Believe me, I understand how hard that calling can be to obey at times. Each of us have faced the need to forgive someone who has hurt or betrayed us. What face first comes to your mind? Today, we'll dig into what forgiveness looks like.

The Character of Forgiveness

     Of all the human qualities that reflect the grace and goodness of God, none is more divine than forgiveness. Forgiveness loves even when we perceive our offender undeserving of it. The one you seek to forgive may not even acknowledge that a hurt was perpetrated. Regardless, we are to extend forgiveness. Man is never more like God than when he forgives because God is never more like God than when He forgives. God is a God of forgiveness.

     The absence of forgiveness is glaringly evident in today's society. In fact, our culture celebrates and exalts people who seek revenge and strive to get even with those who hurt us. Movie makers have made fortunes on revenge-based movies where the one who has been wronged searches out to destroy the one who hurt them. Our culture pushes us to be unforgiving and we see the destruction of relationships as a result. Thankfully, our counter-cultural God invites us to forgive.

   God tells us this about himself in Exodus 34:6, The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.

     God is slow to anger and forgives wickedness, rebellion and sin. We see that over in over in Scripture. In fact, we see it multiple times alone during the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and their 40-year desert wanderings.
    
     God’s ultimate act of forgiveness shone in high definition magnificence on the cross. As we prepare our hearts for Lent, that picture easily surfaces in our mind. So how do we cultivate a forgiving heart?

     (1)  First, we receive by faith God’s forgiveness for ourselves. Oftentimes, the most difficult person to forgive is ourselves - especially when we hurt those we love. Forgiveness reflects a real understanding of and faith in God’s forgiveness in Christ. When we accept God's forgiveness for ourselves, it enables us to extend that same forgiveness to those who hurt us. When we stubbornly refuse to accept or extend forgiveness, it clearly reflects a blinded and hardened heart that lacks true understanding of grace. As God’s image bearers (Gen. 1:26-27), forgiveness correctly reflects His love through us.

     (2)  Second, compassion characterizes forgiveness. Genuine forgiveness extends from a love that comes from deep sorrow. We grieve over what that person has become rather than what that person has done. Compassion looks at the entire picture of a person’s life, not the isolated incident that caused the hurt. It takes into account the influences that may have caused that person to behave in a hurtful manner. When we understand that, compassion fosters forgiveness.

     When we pray for God to cultivate in us a forgiving heart, He will not disappoint! When we receive His forgiveness into our own lives, extending it to others becomes less burdensome.Tomorrow, we'll take a look at the action of forgiveness and answer the question: "I know I need to extend forgiveness, but how do I do that?" Blessings, beloved, as we walk along this journey.

Taking a Stand...To Forgive - Part 1 of 4

     Forgiveness is a hard yet tender subject. It implies that a relationship has experienced conflict resulting in hurt, anger and broken fellowship. We live in a culture that steadfastly insists that extending forgiveness (if at all) requires the offender to first grovel or apologize.
     However, as Christians, we know that does not line up with Scripture. As God’s hands and feet on earth, you and I are called to make the first move to extend forgiveness. Unforgiveness destroys fellowship, fosters anger, hardens our hearts, and violates the fellowship that we could enjoy with God.
     Forgiveness is such an important topic, so we will spend time unpacking the process in four consecutive blogs. The first step toward forgiveness proves the most difficult, so let’s start this delicate topic with great care and prayer.

The Call to Forgive

     Regardless of the issue or offense, you and I are commanded to forgive. Deciding to harbor unforgiveness is deciding to openly disobey God’s explicit instructions. Similar to a child’s disobedience resulting in time out away from parents, our disobedience disrupts our fellowship with God. Unforgiveness results in broken fellowship.

     Second Corinthians 2:5-10 tell us about the call to forgive:  If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you to some extent—not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. Another reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake.
 

     Broken fellowship and unforgiveness cause excessive sorrow. Embracing unforgiveness and sorrow hinders God’s healing in our lives. In Ephesians 4:30, Scripture tells us that the Holy Spirit is grieved when we harbor bitterness, rage and anger.

     The call to forgive shines crystal clear from Colossians 3:13:  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

     The Greek word for forgive in both verses above is charizomai, which means to pardon or grant as a favor; to bestow favor unconditionally. Over and over throughout Scripture, God calls us to extend that unconditional pardon without limitation or reservation.

     The call to forgive from Ephesians 4:32 puts it like this: Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

     We cannot even begin to list the ways that we have grieved our Lord, yet He forgave us all the way to the cross. In order to follow His example, you and I faithfully follow His footsteps.

     If you have experienced a deep betrayal or breach of trust, that calling may be hard to swallow. We do not have the capacity to forgive in and of ourselves. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit and His love flowing through us are we able to honestly and wholeheartedly extend forgiveness.

     Tomorrow, we'll talk about the character of forgiveness. In the meantime, I pray that God stirs this process in each of us.