What People in Deep Pain Need Most

As the Oklahoma tornado victims slowly move toward recovery, pain piles high next to the debris.

Heartbroken parents who will never again nuzzle their child's hair. Children never again hearing a bedtime story from mom. A wife who rolls over to greet an empty space in a bed made for two.

What can we possibly say that will make things better?

Nothing.

When unspeakable loss crumples a heart to its knees hard, deep grief doesn't hear well. They experience devastation deafness, so to speak. I've been there. Felt that.

This tragedy caused me to reflect on how I initially comfort those who grieve.  

Am I helping or hindering?

So often at funerals, well-intentioned people launch feel-good speeches at a grieving person about how God has a plan. How He will bring good out of their loss. That through adversity, God provides opportunity for faith to strengthen and grow.

But hold on.

There is a right time and place for those truths. But it's not during the funeral.

A well-known pastor transmitted this tweet yesterday: "In deep pain, people don't need logic, advice, encouragement, or speeches. They just need you to show up and shut up."

Exactly.

Devastated hearts need someone to sit in the dirt and cry with them. Or a strong shoulder to lean against when their trembling knees go weak. Or a comforting hug expressing love and support in a thousand silent ways.

And lots of prayers without ceasing.

God promises to "heal the brokenhearted and bind up their wounds."  

And He is faithful to do exactly that. 

So perhaps save the words for later -- when lessening degrees of grief restores their ability to hear them. 

How have you offered comfort to someone during their initial stages of grief?

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When God Exhales Hope {and the Winner!}

As Twitter and Facebook lit up with news of the massive tornado that tore through Moore, Oklahoma yesterday afternoon, one particular tweet stood out:

"Where's God in all of this? Beneath the rubble."

That question captured the raw grief of loss. The answer displayed the raw love of God. He's right in the rubble grieving with us.

God is the business of exhaling hope into our lungs when tragedy knocks the wind out of us. 

Filled with His hope, looking to Jesus as our Comforter, we become God's hope dispensers to those hurting in Oklahoma.  

Through prayers, hands-on-assistance, and more prayers, we can come alongside them.

To sift through the rubble.
   And sit in the dirt with them.
      To cry with them. Wipe their tears. 
         And put our arm around their shoulders.

To allow them to grieve their losses.
   And help them rebuild one 2x4 at a time.
      To lend strength when they are weak. 
         And walk with them toward God's healing and restoration.

Although I cannot travel to Oklahoma, I am supporting those who can with prayers and donations.

Since I love animals, I wholeheartedly support the K-9 Comfort Dogs of the Lutheran Church Charities. Those wonderful dogs allow frightened children the opportunity to open up, begin to communicate, and properly deal with trauma. LCC will be deploying their first comfort dogs to Moore, Oklahoma tomorrow.

The bottom line? Sitting back and feeling bad about those who are suffering doesn't accomplish anything.

Do something.

There are countless ways to help. Through your prayers, social media support, and/or tangible means, you can shine a beacon of Christ's love into the Oklahoma rubble.

YOU can make a difference.

Do you know anyone in the affected areas?

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THE BLOG WINNER OF MY BIBLE STUDY "OUR HOPE AND FUTURE" IS:  TERESA R!!
Congratulations! Please email us at inquiry@artesianministries.org so that we can get the study to you!
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When Your Heart is on its Knees {plus a giveaway}

Do you ever experience days when God's blessings gush a tsunami of love? Those days where He fills your soul so completely that you feel your heart just might burst?

Several months ago, the Lutheran Women in Mission (LWML) acquired eight of the Bible studies that I have been privileged to write. I emailed them to the appropriate contact person and prayed that God would use the studies for His good purposes. Life continued.

Fast forward to last Wednesday.

My morning inbox included a cheery email from my LWML contact, along with a copy of the new and improved studies, which had undergone a beautiful transformation in their graphics department.

I opened the attachment and the tears just flowed.

With overflowing thankfulness, my heart was on its knees as I looked through the studies. Picturing the people whom God will draw closer to Him through them. Gathered in circles. Heads leaning in together. Discussing. Praying. Digging for the treasures in His life-giving Word. For God promises:

"So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it." Isaiah 55:11

My wholehearted prayer for everyone walking through these studies is that God accomplishes transformation, not merely acquired information.

SO IN JOYFUL CELEBRATION:

The LWML is giving away a copy of the first study, "Our Hope and Future," based on Jeremiah 29:11-12. It includes four in-depth lessons that dig deep into these passages: "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you."

One person from all who answer this question will be randomly drawn as our winner:

How has God provided hope to you recently?

Please be sure to leave you name and answer before 5:00 p.m. Monday, because I'll announce the winner in Tuesday's post! I can't wait to read your hope stories. 

Share this blog post to offer your friends a chance to win this Bible study! Check out the whole series here:

 

When We Hope for a Crop Failure

"The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of fools is deceit."
Proverbs 14:8 (NKJV)

I don't like this verse simply because a lot of my life can be categorized past the comma. 

There have been plenty of times where I foolishly pursued pleasure without regard to price. Or made dumb decisions to mask inadequacy. Or elevated myself past my Savior.

Traveling that path resulted in seeing things I shouldn't have. Participating in conversations I should've run from. Walking places my feet should have never trod.

They were seasons of life where I sowed seeds of chaos hoping for a crop failure.

Because even though fully aware that I was sowing failure, I kept on plowing. Not thinking of the consequences - spiritually or otherwise. Junk like mismanaged finances. Instead of controlling spending, I applied for more credit cards. Instead of taking care of my body, I ignored physical health. You get the ugly picture.

I'm so thankful that Jesus keeps pursuing us as we sit in life's school room.

He halts my self-destructive tendencies with the promise that when I walk in His wisdom, I can walk in peace. That there's a better alternative to folly. The result?

"But whoever listens to me will dwell secure and will be at ease, without dread of disaster."
Proverbs 1:33

Relying on His guidance keeps us safe. He readily provides the knowledge, insight and prudence necessary for each day. During those times that I walk in His peace, I experience rest. In other words, less stress.

Those days still sneak up on me when I try to cut on my own path. So it shouldn't surprise me when I walk straight off the cliff of regret, consequences and hard knocks.

I don't want to sow a crop only to hope for its failure. 

By His grace, I pray that what he sows in me and through me will fall on fertile soil. A crop that produces much fruit that ultimately points to Him. The Giver of life.

Thank you, Lord, for the hope of an overflowing, abundant crop watered and cultivated by you.

Have you ever kept on plowing knowing you were sowing failure?

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The One Thing That Always Remains

In our arms-length social media culture, God's intimate love often surprises me.

It's much easier for me to send a text or an email. I mean, who has time to actually pick up the phone or walk next door for genuine human interaction? Electronic gadgets have made it easy to create distance from people.

Can I just say that I'm so thankful that's not how God works?

He's always available, never distant. I may feel distant from Him sometimes, but that's my own doing.

During our worship team's devotions last night, I was thankfully reminded that my relationship with God does not depend on how I feel. It's dependent on His love. Not mine. Or my transitory feelings.

My love can be fickle. Or change with the day. Or alter with a mood swing. But not God's. He IS love.

In Jesus' last recorded promise to His followers, He said, "Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Matthew 28:20

Always. 

One of my favorite songs that our team sings is called, "One Thing Remains." It's on the set list for this weekend. Rehearsing those incredible lyrics has provided reassurance and soul-deep joy. [Just click on the picture above to give it a listen.]

The bottom line? It's one thing to talk about God's love.

Another to sing about it.

But His love becomes most impactful when the Holy Spirit plants that truth in our hearts straight from God's Word.

"I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3

God is present in your life. Right now. Singing over you. Taking delight in you. Whether or not you feel it -- He's there. That one thing remains true every single day.

YOU ARE LOVED.

Do you sometimes keep God and His love at arm's length?

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When We Throw Spiritual Temper Tantrums

While celebrating a friend's career accomplishment over dinner a while back, she revealed how heart wrenching her long journey had been.

Some days her frustration caused her to wonder if she was following God's will or her own. She asked God why He wouldn't simply grant her the desire of her heart.

She was tired and emotionally worn out.  

Been there?

Then with a twinkle in her eye, she admitted something with her trademark, gut-level honesty: "I even had a few spiritual temper tantrums along the way, too."

A few what?

Perhaps you've witnessed one.

Perhaps you've had one.

I have. They are petulant. Ugly. You get a maddy-rash on your face. And they're vital toward spiritual growth. So what are they?

Job provides a clear picture of a spiritual temper tantrum when his world came crashing down:

“I hate my life and don’t want to go on living. Oh, leave me alone for my few remaining days. Why won’t you leave me alone, at least long enough for me to swallow! If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of all humanity? Why make me your target? Am I a burden to you? Why not just forgive my sin and take away my guilt? For soon I will lie down in the dust and die. When you look for me, I will be gone.” (Job 7:11, 7:17-21)

A spiritual temper tantrum is a pity party where only God received an invitation. We launch at Him the brunt of our anger, hurt, fear, and damaged pride. Our disappointment at not getting what we believe we deserve.

He absorbs our questions - regardless of the volume with which we ask them. He lets us wear ourselves out. To the point when we're actually listening again.

Then reminds us of His love.

He asks us to trust that His plan is for our good and His glory. It may not turn out the way we expected. Or in the timing we want it.

But chances are, it will turn out a whole lot better. Spiritual growth personified.

Just ask Job.

Have you ever had a spiritual temper tantrum? What happened?

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Photo from here.

For Those Days You Need Sticky Encouragement

When is the last time you actually wore encouragement?

As I spoke at a retreat in Indiana last weekend, I assigned a special task during our second day together.

I asked that the ladies look around the room, identify 10 women that they felt led to encourage, then write one word or phrase on a sticky note to each of those 10 women.

After about five minutes, I asked the ladies to find those 10 women, say aloud to her the word(s) written on the sticky note, then actually stick the note on that precious woman wherever it would stick. 

As the minutes passed by, the room was filled with 240 women sporting sticky notes stuck to every side of them. 

Stuck everywhere they would adhere to. Hair. Glasses. Arms. Shoulders. Necklaces. Backs.

The stickies bore scribbled notes of soul-refreshing encouragement, such as:

     "You're amazing!"
     "Hope dispenser"
     "Such an encourager!"
     "I'm glad I met you this weekend!"
     "You're funny!"
     "Beautiful smile"

As the women both gave and received those wonderfully encouraging words, tears flowed. Laughter rang. Hugs were exchanged. It provided a 3D picture of the love of Christ.

That incredible sight brought tears to my eyes. Each woman became walking storyboards of love. Straight from the Father. Given through each other.

When is the last time someone verbalized encouragement to you? When did you last offer it?

Perhaps you could take a minute to think of someone that you would like to encourage and then write that word or short phrase on a sticky note. Then the next time you see them, stick it on them wherever it will stick.

Chances are, your note could be just the encouragement they needed to hear to make it through the day.

Tangible love expressed in the simplest form.

Nothing complicated required.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today.” Hebrews 3:13 (NIV)

 

Do you find it harder to accept encouragement or to dispense it?

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For When Children Are Commodities

As the video played, I sat riveted to my space on the pew. Heart pounding my chest in waves.

How could this be real?

100,000 U.S. children each year are forcefully engaged in prostitution or pornography. 100,000. That equates to two children every 60 seconds.

Seriously? Not in the land of the free and home of the brave. Not where I call home.  

No way.

And yet less than 20 miles from my home north of Houston, the second largest human trafficking area in the entire United States, outnumbered only by New York, exists in full vigor.

I can't remember the last time my stomach turned so violently in repulsion and flat out anger. God created us. Loves us. Sent His Son to die for us. Yet to some, the value of human life is negotiable. Up for bid.

A commodity.

I have a nephew who is 8. A great niece who is 9. And several friends who have children between 8-14, who represent the target age range for child sex trafficking.

I don't know if anything the Lord leads me to do about this will make a dent in this worldwide slave trade, but by His grace I can make a ripple...or two...or three. Like Mother Teresa responded when asked how she thought she could change the world: “I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to create many ripples.”

So I am in it with both feet. To end it. And it started with putting my sneakers where my mouth is. I'm participating in Love 146's Tread on Trafficking, where a steadily growing number of Americans are exercising to raise money and awareness to end the child slave trade. 

If you're so led, I would appreciate your support. My page can be found here.

Regardless of whether you choose to support with dollars, your prayer support is desperately needed to put an end to this life-destroying industry. 

Child sex trafficking and exploitation is disturbing and repulsive on every level. But together, we can make a difference. A ripple.

For the children.

Were you aware that child sex trafficking existed to such a degree?
Do you know if it exists in your town?

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When Its About Relationship Not Membership

 

"Jesus did not die to give us a membership;
He died to give us a relationship with the living God." - James Robison

That's a profound statement.

And it made me uncomfortable.

Because sometimes walking into church fosters a membership mindset. Like just because I'm on some roster I belong.

Yet when I spend quiet time with God, membership never crosses my mind. It's all about the relationship that He enables by His grace alone. Not because my name is scrawled on a random church roster.

Yes, it's important to belong to a fellowship of believers. But something about bricks and mortar alters our perception--sometimes not for the good.

So what's the big deal? 

Membership provides status. Thankfully, Jesus didn't care about status. He enabled the blind to see, the lame to leap, and the deaf to hear. He didn't ask if the hurting were card-carrying church members. He didn't ask to see their 401(k) statement to verify worth. He said, "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God." Luke 6:20

Membership fosters entitlement. Apart from Christ we can do no good thing. Our sin entitles us to hell. A relationship with Jesus fosters service. Christ followers don't push to the front of the line and demand to be served. They reach out to those in need with gentle hands and compassionate love. "Love your neighbor as yourself." Romans 13:9

Membership accrues penalty fees. The roster-keepers keep score. But a relationship with Jesus offers us a new slate each day, wiped clean by a blood-soaked cloth of sacrifice. The fee to enter heaven was paid in full on a skull-carved hill. "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:12

Memberships can expire. As we age our active status becomes inactive. But from Genesis to Revelation, the Bible stands as a record of a loving God's pursuit of a relationship with us. He doesn't stop at some point and tell us that we have to make it to church or we can just forget about the relationship. He said, "I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3

Membership involves our wallet, mind, and projecting a certain image.

Relationship involves our heart, soul, and allowing our warts to show as we love in His name.

What's your opinion? 

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When Only Our Failures Are Helpful

As I read a friend's blog post a while back, one line splashed literary cold water in my face:  

"None of my successes in life are of any use to her. It’s only my failures that are helpful."

The more I thought about that statement the more it rang true.  

Hurting people don't need our polished bio. Hurting people need hope.

If they realize that you have traveled a similar, difficult road they seek you out.

   For advice. 

      For empathy.

         To talk with someone who understands from personal experience how they're hurting.

That truth has shone in high definition for me this Spring. As I have been invited to various events to speak and/or lead Bible studies, there is always - without fail - at least one woman who is struggling with the excruciating pain of divorce.

 I've been there. Done that. Been shredded by it.

And received God's faithful healing and restoration.

These hurting women, dearly loved by God, just want to hear hope that they'll survive. That the pain really won't kill them. That one night they'll be able to sleep again. And get through a conversation without breaking down.

By God's grace, He's allowing me to use that significant failure in my life to help others. But I had to be real about it first. Be willing to expose the junk in my closet, so to speak. Because no one can relate to people who continuously rave about their perfect life.

It just makes hurting people want to kick something. Hard.

What about you?

I bet you've had a failure, too. Something that has significantly altered how you view God and people. That experience that forever changed your perspective.

Chances are there is a person that God has placed in your life right now who is experiencing a similar pain as you have. Someone who needs to know their failure doesn't define them.

It's how they allow God to redeem and use their failure that defines them.

I pray that God gives you the humility and courage to let them know that they are not alone.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to
prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~Jeremiah 29:11

Has someone ever offered hope to you during a particularly painful season?
Did it change how you viewed your situation?

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